Hymns 578
Scripture Reading:
Rom. 1:17 For the righteousness of God is revealed in it out of faith to faith, as it is written, “But the righteous shall have life and live by faith.”
2 Cor. 1:24 Not that we lord it over your faith, but we are fellow workers with you for your joy; for by faith you stand.
2 Cor. 5:7 For we walk by faith, not by appearance.
One day I asked God, “Why are You calling me away so soon?” I confessed my trespasses before God, fearing that I might have been unfaithful concerning some matter. At the same time I told God that I had no faith. On that same day I devoted myself to fasting and praying and presented myself to Him once more. I told Him that I would do nothing but what He assigned me. From morning until three o’clock in the afternoon I fasted. At the same time the co-workers earnestly prayed together for me in Sister Ruth Lee’s home. As I prayed to God to grant me faith, He spoke His words to me, words which I could never forget. The first sentence was, “The just shall live by faith” (Rom. 1:17). The second sentence was, “By faith you stand” (2 Cor. 1:24). The third sentence was, “We walk by faith” (2 Cor. 5:7). These words filled me with great joy, for the Bible says, “All things are possible to him who believes” (Mark 9:23). I immediately thanked and praised God because He had given me His words. I believed that God had cured me.
STANDING BY FAITH
The test came immediately. The Bible says, “By faith you stand,” but I was still lying in bed. A conflict arose in my mind: Should I get up and stand or remain lying down? We all know that human beings love themselves and consider it more comfortable to die in bed than to die standing. Then the word of God manifested its power, and ignoring all else, I put on my clothing, clothing which I had not worn for a hundred and seventy-six days. As I left the bed to stand, I perspired so profusely that it was as though I had been soaked through with rain. Satan said to me, “Are you trying to stand when you can’t even sit up?” I retorted, “God told me to stand,” and I rose to my feet. Being again in a cold sweat, I nearly fell down. I kept repeating, “Stand by faith, stand by faith!” I then walked a few steps to get my trousers and socks. After putting on my trousers, I sat down. No sooner was I seated than the word of God came to me that I should not only stand by faith but also walk by faith. I felt that the ability to rise and walk a few steps to get my trousers and socks was already something marvelous. How could I expect to walk further? “Where do You want me to go?” I asked God. He answered, “Go downstairs to Sister Lee’s home at number 215.” A number of brothers and sisters had been fasting and praying for me there for two or three days.
WALKING BY FAITH
Walking within the room might be all right, I thought, but how could I walk downstairs? I prayed to God, “Oh God, I can stand by faith, and by faith I am also able to walk downstairs!” Immediately, I went to the door leading to the staircase and opened it. I tell you honestly that when I stood at the top of the staircase it seemed to me to be the tallest staircase I had ever seen in my life. I said to God, “If You tell me to walk I will do so, even if I die as a result of the effort.” But I continued, “Lord, I cannot walk. I pray that You will support me with Your hand while I am walking.” With one hand holding onto the rail, I descended step by step. Again I was in a cold sweat. As I walked down the stairs, I continued to cry out, “Walk by faith, walk by faith!” With each step down, I prayed, “Oh Lord, it is You who enable me to walk.” While descending those twenty-five steps, it seemed I was walking hand in hand with the Lord in faith.
EXHILARATED AND JUBILANT IN SPIRIT,
WE ALL PRAISED GOD ALOUD
Upon reaching the bottom of the stairway, I felt very strong and went quickly to the rear door. I opened the door and headed straight for Sister Lee’s home. I said to the Lord, “From now on, I will live by faith and will no longer be an invalid.” I knocked at the door just as Peter did in Acts 12:12-17, but without Rhoda to open the door. When the door was opened and I entered the house, seven or eight brothers and sisters gazed at me. They were speechless and motionless. For about an hour everyone sat quietly as if God had appeared among men. I also sat there full of thanksgiving and praise. Then I related all that had happened in the course of my being graciously healed. Exhilarated and jubilant in spirit, we all praised God aloud for His wonderful work. That same day we hired a car to go to Kiang-Wan in the suburbs to visit Dora Yu, the famous woman evangelist. She was greatly shocked to see me, for she had received recent news of my imminent death. When I appeared, I was looked upon as one who had been raised from the dead. That was another occasion of joyful thanksgiving and praise before the Lord. On the following Sunday, I spoke on the platform for three hours.
WHAT A WONDER
About four years ago, I went to an auction at the house of a German doctor. Upon inquiring I found that this doctor was the one who had taken x-rays of my chest many years ago. He had taken three pictures and told me that there was no hope. When I asked him to take another picture, he said that there was no further need. He then showed me another person’s chest x-ray and said, “This person’s condition was better than yours, yet he died at his home two weeks after this picture was taken. Don’t come to see me anymore; I don’t want to make money out of you.” When I heard this, I went home extremely disappointed. Then, four years ago, I read an advertisement in the newspaper concerning the auction of a building and furniture of a certain famous German doctor who had died. When I discovered that this doctor was the one who had taken x-rays of my chest many years ago, I lifted up my hands to praise the Lord. I said, “This doctor has died. He said that I would die soon, but now he is dead. The Lord has shown me His grace.” Under the Lord’s blood, I said, “This doctor, who was stronger than I, has died, but I have been healed by the Lord and am still alive.” On that day I bought many things from his house for memorial.
GOD’S FURTHER SUSTAINING CARE
While Brother Nee was seriously sick with tuberculosis, his heart was stricken with angina pectoris in 1927. God graciously healed him of tuberculosis, but sovereignly left him with the angina pectoris. He suffered this heart disease for forty-five years, until the end of his life. It often caused him to suffer severe pain and experience cold sweat. Sometimes, while delivering a message, the pain would hit, and he would be forced to lean upon the stand. He could have died at any moment. This spontaneously ushered him into a full trust in the Lord for his existence. Moment by moment he existed by faith in God, and all through the years God sustained him with His gracious care and resurrection life until he died. Through such physical hardship, he experienced and enjoyed God much more than would have been possible if he had not had such an entangling and exhausting disease.
The kind of divine healing Watchman Nee experienced is different from the so-called gift of healing. It was not merely a miraculous act of God; it was the working out of the resurrection life through the procedure of grace by the exercise of living faith in the faithful Word of God for edification and growth of life. It was not merely a miracle of divine power; it was absolutely a matter of grace and of the divine life. (Watchman Nee—A Seer of the Divine Revelation in the Present Age, ch. 12)
Further Reading: Watchman Nee—A Seer of the Divine Revelation in the Present Age, ch. 12